Hey there, fearless leaders! We're back with another tool to up your leadership game. We’ve already talked about using storytelling to help you set high expectations for your team and how you can only manage behavior, not feelings. Today, we're diving into a crucial aspect of leadership - being a thinking partner, not a rescuer!

As we've discussed before, fear can sometimes hold us back from fully engaging with our team. One of those fears revolves around handling unexpected complaints. Picture this: a staff member approaches you, frustrated and complaining about something. Your heart starts racing, and you're not sure how to respond. You wonder, "Am I supposed to swoop in and save the day, or should I empower them to find their own solution?"

Tool 3: Be a thinking partner, not a rescuer.

This is where the magic of being a thinking partner comes in. Being a thinking partner means guiding your team members towards becoming solution-focused rather than staying stuck in the problem. It's like offering them the compass to navigate through challenges and empowering them to discover their own superpowers.

Now, let's get one thing straight - we're not talking about true victims here. We're talking about those who might be quick to point fingers and play the blame game instead of taking responsibility for their part in a conflict. We're not talking about situations where someone has been assaulted, hurt, or abused; in those cases, compassion and support are crucial.

So, when a team member comes to you with a complaint, the best thing you can do is ask questions. Keep those gears turning and encourage them to provide information to back up their concerns. This not only helps you understand the situation better but also nudges them towards self-awareness and problem-solving.

Here’s what that line of questioning could sound like.

"Can you tell me more about that?"

"Is there anything you could have done differently to change that outcome?"

"What have you tried so far?"

"What do you think you or we should try next?"

Remember, your goal is not to solve their problems for them, but to empower them to be proactive and accountable. You can acknowledge their feelings by saying something like, "It sounds like this is really bothering you if it was important enough to bring to me. Thank you for trusting me enough to share. While I can't simply solve this problem for you, as that would rob you of a development opportunity, I am happy to be a thinking partner with you and talk through how we should solve this."

Now, brace yourself, because this may not be an easy transition for them. They might not like it. Remember, you can’t fault people for being normal. Change is challenging, and that's okay! You can't expect everyone to embrace it with open arms. But remember, you're not just their leader; you're also their coach, guiding them towards growth and success.

So, friends, keep using those storytelling skills we talked about earlier. Remember, you can’t manage feelings, you can only manage behavior. As you master these tools, you'll see how they seamlessly fit together, ready to tackle various scenarios with finesse.

Stay tuned for more tools to level up your leadership game! By understanding and utilizing these tips, you'll have resources you need to effectively lead and engage your team! If you want even more, check out our course Foundations for Team Culture.